Time
The deeply personal relationship individuals have to time is one of the most important themes in The Sense of an Ending. Barnes introduces the theme at the beginning of the book as Tony comments on how he has never understood time very well, even as he concedes that "we live in time — it holds us and molds us." Tony's lack of grasp on time stems from how "the smallest pleasure or pain" can make time malleable: "Some emotions speed it up," he says, "others slow it down; occasionally, it seems to go missing." Time also arises when Tony recalls how he and his friends wore their watches with the faces on the inside of the wrist, making time feel like a more personal, private thing. As the book goes on, Tony expands on his comments, making a division between the objective time kept on clocks and the personal time influenced by feelings and memory. He calls personal time "the true time," a paradoxical statement that expresses a conviction that the more subjective type of time is truer to a person's experience than measurable time. Although this type of time is at the mercy of changing feelings, its malleability also allows Tony to relive his past, filling in old time with renewed memories as he develops a more accurate idea of who he was and is.
The Mutability of Memory
A natural companion to time, the mutability of memory is another key theme in The Sense of an Ending. Barnes introduces the theme on the opening page when Tony lists fragmented memories whose significance will be revealed later in the book. The last memory is of a bathtub of cold water behind a locked door—the bathtub in which Adrian Finn kills himself while his flatmates are away for the weekend. Tony acknowledges to the reader that he never saw Adrian dead in the bath, but the image nonetheless exists in his memory, just as vivid and real as the things he actually witnessed. With Tony's commentary, Barnes subtly establishes the importance of memory as something that is recreated with every recollection, making memory something that composed of just as much imagination as fact. As with time, Tony fails to grasp his memory objectively. Instead, he only has his imperfect, subjective, mutable memory to rely on. The division between what actually happened and what he remembers having happened causes conflict when Tony discovers that his treatment of Veronica and Adrian was far crueler than he wanted to believe. By the end of the novel, he must incorporate the new knowledge he has learned about himself into his original memory of the events that make up the first part of the book. Through depicting Tony's mental and emotional processing, Barnes shows readers the extent to which memory—and therefore history—is always liable to change.
Suicide
Another of the novel's dominant themes is suicide. This theme first arises when Robson, a fellow sixth-form student, hangs himself while Tony is in high school. The event, shrouded in mystery, prompts Tony and his friends to speculate about what might have motivated Robson; they are also envious of Robson, because his life, though short, was dramatic enough to be "the stuff of Literature." As a Camus reader, Adrian speaks of how suicide is the most fundamental question a human must grapple with—whether to continue living out an absurd, meaningless existence, or end it. Adrian also cites Freud's theory of the death drive (Thanatos) and the pleasure/sex drive (Eros), opposing yet interwoven desires that determine human experience. With Robson's suicide, Adrian says that "Thanatos wins again." Later in the book, Adrian kills himself. Unlike Robson, he leaves behind a lengthy suicide note which he wishes the authorities to make public. However, full clarity around his reason for wanting to die is not attained until Tony learns Adrian had fathered a child with Veronica's mother. As for Robson, the fear and shame of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy prompted Adrian to end his life. And although Adrian sought to justify his decision with logic, philosophy, and poeticism, Tony and Alex conclude that his suicide, as much as it is "impressive," cannot escape also being a "fucking terrible waste."
Remorse
Remorse—deeply felt guilt or regret for something you have done wrong—is a major theme in The Sense of an Ending. Although the theme is vital to the narrative, it makes a subtle entry into the story, developing gradually as Tony leads the reader through his recollections. As a young man, Tony has a tendency to view himself as a victim, perceiving Veronica's actions toward him with suspicion, perceiving her family attitudes as condescending, and perceiving Adrian's decision to date Veronica as an unforgivable betrayal. Angry, Tony feels himself entitled to denounce Adrian and slander Veronica in his letter. It is not until he is confronted with the letter forty years later that Tony feels the sharp teeth of remorse (a word that comes from the Latin for "to bite"). Gripped by regret long after he can do anything about it, Tony's reflexive instinct to view himself as a victim returns, and he justifies his past cruelty as the immature venting of a wounded young man. He does not fully accept his guilt until the end of the novel, when he finally understands what Veronica has been trying to tell him. Were it not for Tony's letter, Adrian might not have started the affair with Sarah and killed himself. Tony is left with nothing to do but sit in the discomfort of knowing who he once was and how one inconsiderate decision on his part ruined people's lives.
Reticence
Reticence—the tendency not to reveal feelings or thoughts readily—is another key theme in the novel. Barnes explores the theme most overtly through Robson, Adrian, Sarah, and Veronica. In Robson's case, his suicide note is brief, saying only "Sorry Mum." This reluctance to explain why he wanted to die disappoints Tony and his friends, who are left to speculate and gossip, inching toward a clarity they will never attain. Adrian, similarly, disappoints his friends by declining to indulge their prompts for dramatic anecdotes about his divorced parents. The theme arises again when Tony visits Veronica's family and Sarah makes a bold statement in warning Tony to not let Veronica get away with too much but refuses to elaborate. Veronica inherits her mother's reticence: Forty years after they broke up, she returns to Tony's life intent on keeping Tony in the dark about why he was named in her mother's will or what was in Adrian's diary. Rather than tell him how she feels directly, Veronica uses a series of clues and outbursts to express her resentment for Tony's thoughtless letter and grief over everything it precipitated.
Aging
Another of the themes to which Barnes returns throughout the novel is aging. Barnes addresses the theme most directly with Tony's reflections on how his perception of reality has changed since he was a young man. In the part of the book that takes place in the 1960s, Tony is cocky, defensive, rebellious, misogynistic, jealous, and lacks ambition. Forty years of living the life of an average middle-class Londoner humbles Tony. At sixty, he accepts that most of life's excitement is in the past, and he is content to live alone in his flat, retired and divorced. However, Tony's complacent life is disrupted with the reintroduction of Veronica and memories of her mother and Adrian. It is only with the humility of old age that Tony can truly see who he was as a young man and how he affected those around him. This recalibration is significant because it affects more than Tony's impression of himself as a post-adolescent. Having to incorporate this renewed image of who he used to be, Tony develops a new understanding of who he is in old age: a charming but flawed man who too-often thinks of himself before others.
Grief
Grief and the burden it causes is another important theme in The Sense of an Ending. Barnes introduces the theme at the beginning of the book through Tony's narrative voice; contemplative and somber, Tony's voice signals to the reader that he is working through some yet-to-be-revealed sorrow. Grief makes a more overt incursion into the narrative with Robson's sudden suicide. Because Tony is not close with this other student, his grief is depicted primarily through the way in which he and his friends crack jokes and attempt to make sense of the suicide; these instincts nonetheless indicate Tony's grief-fueled impulse to bargain with and deny death. The theme arises again with Adrian's suicide. Tony and Alex meet to discuss it, unsure whether to view it as "fucking impressive or a fucking terrible waste." In the second part of the book, grief arises again with Sarah Ford's death. While her death means little to Tony, to Veronica it is far more significant because of the way it affects her half-brother, Adrian Junior. As a developmentally disabled man, Adrian Junior has a particularly difficult time coming to terms with the loss of his elderly mother. However, through each of the examples Barnes depicts, it becomes clear that no one in the book quite knows how to make peace with the death of someone close.
