Act One: "Fun and Games"
George is an associate professor of history, and his wife Martha is the daughter of the president of the college where George teaches. After they return home from a faculty party, Martha reveals she has invited a young married couple she met at the party over for a drink. (Also cut in the definitive edition: Just before the couple—Nick and Honey—arrives, George gives a vague warning about "the bit with the kid" that Martha appears to understand.)
As the four drink, Martha and George engage in scathing verbal abuse of each other in front of Nick and Honey. These interactions embarrass the younger couple, but they stay. At one point, Honey lets on that Martha told her about their son, which appears to unnerve George. After this, Martha's taunts and George's passive aggression only increase. When Martha launches into an embarrassing story about how she humiliated him with a sucker punch at a backyard party, George disappears. The story continues, with Nick and Honey laughing, until George appears with a rifle and fires at Martha. To their surprise, a Chinese parasol pops out of the gun barrel. Everyone finds this extremely funny, but Martha quickly resumes her taunting of George, which culminates in Martha relating how her father had thought that George would eventually rise to lead the college, but George's lack of ambition has made him pathetic to Martha, who calls him a "great big fat flop."[1] George reacts violently by breaking a bottle. Honey, who has grown more and more deliriously drunk, quickly runs to the bathroom to vomit, leaving George alone with glass all over the room.
Act Two: "Walpurgisnacht"
- (Traditionally, "Walpurgisnacht" is the name of an annual witches' meeting, satiric in the context of the play.)
Nick returns to find George alone. As they talk about their wives, Nick reveals that Honey once had a "hysterical pregnancy". George tells Nick about a time he went to a gin mill with some boarding school classmates, one of whom had accidentally killed his mother by shooting her. This friend was mocked for ordering "bergin" (bourbon). The following summer, the young friend was driving with his father and suddenly swerved to avoid a porcupine, accidentally killing his father. The boy was then sent to an asylum and became mute. As the story concludes, George and Nick discuss children, but the conversation turns insulting before Martha and Honey return.
Honey calls for music, so they put on a record. Because George refuses to dance, Martha dances with Nick, taunting George by making the dance very sensual while she tells another embarrassing story about George: his efforts to publish a novel about a boy who accidentally killed both of his parents (with the insinuation that the deaths were actually murder), but Martha's father would not let it be published. George attacks Martha, but Nick separates them. Clearly not satisfied, George launches into a new "game" called "Get the Guests," in which George begins telling a story about a "mousie" that is a thinly-veiled retelling of everything Nick told George about Honey, including her alcoholism and her "hysterical pregnancy," implying that Honey "trapped" Nick into marrying her by pretending to be pregnant. Honey, devastated, again runs to the bathroom to vomit.
Martha begins to openly seduce Nick in the living room right in front of George, who blithely smiles and pretends to read a book. This greatly annoys Martha, who tells George that if he does nothing to stop her, she'll have sex with Nick. George is unmoved, so Martha goes upstairs with Nick. Immediately, an enraged George throws his book against the house's doorbell chimes, which ring out as he promises to make Martha "regret this."
In some productions until 2006, Honey then returns, wondering who rang the doorbell. George then interrogates Honey about her pregnancy, then openly tells Honey that he is going to inform Martha that their son has died. In a 2006 revision by the author of the script, however, this scene is cut.[2]
Act Three: "The Exorcism"
- (Exorcism is the expulsion or attempted expulsion of a supposed evil spirit from a person or place.)
Martha enters an empty living room and shouts for the others to come out of hiding. Nick joins her. The doorbell rings, and George enters carrying snapdragons and making literary jokes that Martha seems to actually enjoy. Martha and George then argue about whether the moon is up, an odd game whose metaphors reveal that Nick was too drunk to have sex with Martha upstairs.
George asks Nick to bring Honey back for the final game, "Bringing Up Baby." Nick and Honey sit helplessly as George, at last, talks openly about his and Martha's son. As he accuses Martha of being overbearing to their son, she protests, leading George to ask for her "recitation." Martha agrees, and begins to recall their son's beauty and talents and accuses George of ruining his life. As she speaks, George recites sections of the Libera me (part of the Requiem Mass, the Latin mass for the dead) and Kyrie eleison (ancient Greek: "Lord, have mercy").
This continues until George informs Martha that the doorbell earlier was a messenger from Western Union arriving with a telegram that George says informed him that their son was dead, having been killed in a car crash when he swerved to avoid a porcupine—the exact wording that George earlier used in a story about a completely different person. Martha demands proof, but George insists on the reality of the situation. Martha, distraught, collapses. It slowly dawns on Nick that the son George and Martha have been talking about is not real. The fictional son is a "game" the two have been playing since discovering early in their marriage that they are infertile. George has decided to "kill" him because Martha broke the game's single rule: not to mention the boy to anyone else.
Overcome with pity, Nick and Honey leave. Martha suggests that they could invent a new imaginary child, but George insists they cannot. The play ends with George singing "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?", a joke song someone sang that night at the faculty party. Martha weakly replies, "I am, George. I am."
